Alright there, penguins, I have something to admit- I am a veteran of online dating. I'm not cut up in a garbage can, I haven't been raped, no horror stories here. Just the simple truth- if you're scared of trying to find people, shy, have a terrible gaydar, or just too busy to go find romance, online dating is easier. I've actually been doing it for a year now, and I've met two guys.
Guy one thought I was straight (I was trying to deny my inner dyke) and there was a messy breakup when I came out as bi. We're talking as friends now, which isn't so bad... he wasn't a bad guy, it was just that me trying to figure out my sexuality was hard on both of us. Guy number two knew I was bi, and we had a grand ole time talking, iming, and generally being good friends. There was romance and all. Too bad that when we met, I realized I wasn't sexually interested in him- in any guy at all actually. That was a pretty messy breakup too, but a week later we went back to being tight friends. So what I'm saying- it isn't a bad idea, and it can be fun, and if you're lucky, like me, it will lead to lasting friendships. If you are super-lucky, like several people I know, online dating might even lead to online love!
Okay, here's the deal. Eharmony isn't bad, but you have to pay. In fact, you have to pay on most dating sites. Fortunately, I found two that are completely free, and really good. The first is for everyone, straight, gay, trans, whatever- and best of all it caters to the nerds! Sweet On Geeks (sweetongeeks,com) is awesome if you want some nerdy lovin, or are a nerd looking for love. It's how I met those two guy friends, and now I'm using it to meet more friends who might even be more than friends. There's places where you can talk about your nerdy interests with other people, you can message on the site and send "winks" to people you think are cute (and these winks are specifically tailored to the geeks, of course) and it gives you ample space to describe yourself and put up pictures so other people can learn a bit about you before making a move (or while responding to a move you made).
Here's one for the lesbians- Lesbotronic.com is completely free and allows you email them directly to their personal email. The privacy is fantastic, you're profile can't be viewed by the public, or even girls who don't match your search results. Your search results are limited by city, which can be difficult, if you want friends from all over the place, like me. The solution? Join groups! You can see everyone's profile in those groups, and you know that if they're there, they have at least on interest in common with you. Of course, there are many many more site out there, but these two are tried and trusted by yours truly, and they're completely free.
It should go without saying that if you are going to contact anyone on the internet, and let them contact you, you need to keep your safety in mind. My favorite way of checking? I Facebook stalk. If you can see their personal email, search it on Facebook- same with name and username. Meeting in a private place by yourself is just stupid, though if you bring a friend, let the possible date know so they aren't confused.
I hate having to type this sort of stuff- it's pretty elementary, and I think most people know about dating sites they might want to use, or they just don't want to. For the record, the stigma of online dating is beginning to fade- people don't judge as much as they used to, and why would they? More of our society is becoming based on the interwebs, it's just how things have evolved. The biggest comfort in online dating is that you can talk to and learn a lot about possible partners long before you meet them. In the real world, it would take time to really feel as if you know a person, but online, everyone's a lot less skittish about telling the truth- the embarrassing ones. Of course, it's also a lot easier to lie online, too, and you have to be careful about it. In the end, though, it is all on the individual to be as cautious as possible. Good luck if you want to try it!
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