This is clearly going to be an ongoing theme, I can see. That is just because... well, I'm a shy moherfucker and talking to available girls is so much easier when we're not face to face and they can't hear the inevitable stuttering. True story- when I'm around a lot of girls, and I know they're single- I pretend they are all very straight and taken. Only way I can interact confidently around large groups of them, or even coherently with one or two very cute ones. Otherwise, I will be a stuttering, blushing mess and I'm pretty sure it's not attractive when you can't tell what I'm saying.
Anywhoo, recently I've started doing Okcupid.com. Several friends I know have had good luck with it, and I can see why- it's a lot more active than a lot of other dating sites than I have seen, and it keeps you interested- updated matches often, easy communication, questions to answer that map your personality, and chat all on the page. I am a whore for those questions, I always find it cool to see how services map my personality (apparently I am adventurous, kind, pure, and suck at math). So far I've actually had a lot of luck: shall we compare the results?
SweetOnGeeks- Where I met two past boyfriends, one of whom I am still friends with and the other I am more or less acquaintances.
Right now, I am talking to a guy who gets we can only be friends, but he gets on my nerves because he types "uh" a lot. You are on the internet, sir, don't type it! You are actually making an effort to sound as if you have no idea about anything ever... the cute little shy guy act might make you ladies, but it annoys the crap out of potential friends.
I was talking to a person I think is FtM trans (female to male) because when they first messaged me, their profile said female looking for females. Now it says male looking for females. Furthermore, an earlier post said she had a female name and was going through a hard time, and his facebook has a male name. Probably in transition... nice guy though. Hasn't emailed back in a while, but I hope he's doing well.
Clearly, an issue is that it's mostly straight-orientated, so I get approached by guys, even though I stated I only want girls. Anyway, not very many people actually check the site, so requests, messages and winks appear to just get forgotten.
Lesbotronic- I emailed a couple of girls, but they never emailed me back. A major failing is that you use your personal email to email them directly, and I think the unrecognized address gets deleted or sent to spam. I'll update, if necessary, but I don't think anyone is going to email me back from this site. Pity, they were cute and we had the same interests.
OKCupid- Right now, I am talking to several girls:
A 23 year old femme butch with a kid who lives pretty close to me. I am not interested in her as a girlfriend- I mean, she has a kid, and that isn't something I really want in my life. She's nice though, and I think she might be a good friend to have.
A 19 year old genderqueer who seems to be on the side of butch things at the moment. I'm attracted to her because she's funny, playful, and we have a lot of the same interests. She also lives pretty close to me, but I don't think close enough to be in contact immediately. I think she's cute in a cuddly way- not really hot, but not ugly either. My friends disagree, but I'll come back to that.
A 21 year old butch girl who also lives fairly close, but she's in school somewhere else. We haven't gotten to talk much, but from what I can tell she's funny, loves music, and we have a lot of the same interests. I hate to say it, but she's not that attractive. Her sweetness more than makes up for it though, which surprises me. I would still prefer to have her as a friend though. I think right now, I'm looking more for friends, anyway.
A 21 year old femme butch who lives really far away. She's hilarious, playful, really compassionate and again, we like most of the same things. She's the most attractive of the girls I've talked to by far (I think around a seven and a half) but again, my friends the straight girls think she's a five or six.
I've decided to chalk this up to several different things- I have different taste than they do anyway. They tend to like more girlishness (and I'm talking across the board, in dress, design, etc.) while I just like it to feel fresh and comfortable. Therefore, they gravitate towards feminine looking girls- they were quizzing me on celebs I found hot, and I realized they were mostly mentioning ones that were super-girly. Furthermore, they were saying I was wrong when I didn't like some of them- but it's a matter of personal taste. Also, they are straight! They look for beauty- I look for who I could have a good relationship with, and while I wouldn't go for ugly, I know my chances of a super model are slim at best, and I would prefer someone who makes me laugh and that I want to cuddle over a hot girl that annoys me.
They claimed that the 80/20 (eighty percent of lesbians are ugly and twenty percent are hot, apparently) doesn't apply because I'm in the twenty and could get another cute girl. Except I'm not. I'm plain, not pretty, not ugly, just forgettable. And it doesn't matter to me. I kinda don't like that they judge my choices based on looks anyway. I mean, c'mon, I don't judge your boyfriends, I just agree with the judgment you already made. You know best, you are the ones who ogle menfolk. I know best about lesbians- I'm the one who ogles them.
And this is why I want a trusted lezzie friend- as much as I love my straight girls and gay guys, I don't really trust their choices of ladies. They simply don't look at them the same way I do.
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