I hate to admit it, but as a new gay in a town where such things are both kinda accepted and kinda hated, I'm feeling lonely. I see the lesbians and gays, everywhere. There's so many baby dykes that your head would spin- and there's also a lot of established gays too. But there's nowhere to go, no way to hang out or meet new people, no support system whatsoever. Since I left this place for college, the attitude has changed massively- it's not so scary to be gay here as it used to be. I held hands and pecked my girlfriend's cheek in public the entire time she was here and all we got was a couple of sideways looks. No comments, no outward hate. Gays are even more visible- there's rainbow flags in a couple of places, and like I said, nobody seems to be hiding all that much, not like I did (though that was mostly my own hate). So why isn't there anywhere to go?
This isn't the first time I've thought this. I want to start a place where people can be, I don't know, people? I want to start a business (preferably bakery or book store) full of comfy places to sit and relax. An apartment where people can stay if they need a place. No cares if you're gay, straight, pregnant, scared, the only exception if you are starting any kind of hate, you leave. I want to have an arcade beside it, connected, and dances could be there as well. I want to dream big and maybe see it happen. But I know that if I did start such a thing here, I'd have to stay. I can't start a safe place and leave for school, for the east coast. I have to stick with it, but I hate this place. If I did, though, maybe I wouldn't hate this place. Maybe I could make it nice to live in, safe.
Or maybe I'm insane and need to think everything out. Gah. I just want to be able to do something in a place that needs it. There's nowhere to hang for a 65 mile radius here, no coffee shops, bars, clubs, centers, nothing. I want to up the number to one, that's all.
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