My town goes absolutely insane exactly once a year, filled with people don't know how to drive, cowboys, old people, and everybody is really, really frustrated. Also, many are drunk too.
I never know if I love or hate it, but what the hell- either way I embrace it. I dip my toe in the Missouri State Fair and I people watch. I people watch like I'm getting a degree in it, and if you're interested in the diversity of Missourians, my town's the place to be. Of course, this being a gay girl's blog, I will tell you about the lesbos, but first, a mixed bag of incredibly intriguing specimens:
Ronald McDonald, in and out of costume. A lot, actually. I saw him (out of costume) at McDonald's, driving to the fair, parking in the fair, watching the shows before his and watching the crowd. I think at that point he got a little freaked out that I saw him so many places, but when I saw him (yet again) three different places as Ronald, I think he began to think I was stalking him. I wasn't- I just happened to see him a lot.
The Republicans and the Democrats. This year, someone thought it would be a good idea to put their tents beside each other. Now, the booth runners didn't have a problem with it- many of the politicians are friends, after all. But the voters, they're a little less tolerant of each other, so a lot of old people got into political events on the sidewalk, and someone would have to separate them. Once, it was a candidate for local office.
The Right To Life (and varieties thereof). I don't know why, but they keep trying to talk to me. I think they single out all young women, and inform us how horrible abortion is so we never do. I don't get why they give out fetus-shaped silly bandz and not condoms- Wouldn't condoms be more effective for preventing abortions? At least you'd have a lot of really thankful drunken cowboys.
Anyway, on to the dykes. Oh, the dykes.
One girl wearing a "I like Chicks" shirt with a little picture of a chicken on it. Now, there's a chance she meant it literally or ironically, but I kinda doubt it.
One girl wearing a Fuck H8 shirt. That takes some balls, I must say. Figuratively.
Two butch girls, one of whom was with her family.
Three baby dykes.
The boi I wasn't sure about until she started hitting on me- She teetered on androgyny, to the point where I wasn't sure if it was a gay guy or a boi. It was kinda flattering that she hit on me at all, her being a pretty attractive girl, but I feel that she was bored with the fairly sparse selection of lesbos at the fair. She was pretty nice when I informed her I had a girlfriend, too.
The butch carny who I ended up hanging out with for a few minutes. (I saved the best for last.) I was waiting for my cousins to get off the ride she was running and we talked about the music and the mating habits of the average Missouri twentysomething. We decided that tiny jean skirts, plaid halter tops, and cowgirl boots must be the requirement, and we speculated on possibility of redneck inbreeding. There some pretty great jokes about plaid- "Don't the straight girls know it's our color? You've got pink! How are we supposed to find the dykes now?"- and she got me to go hit on her girlfriend at the cotton candy booth, because they were betting on people using the line, "You might be selling candy, but you're the sweetest things I see." Her girlfriend laughed, called me out on knowing there was a bet, and snuck me a candy apple. Butch carny was super annoyed it didn't work, but it was worth the laugh. Those ladies were my favorite people at the fair, so far.
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