Some thoughts, and a Plan of Action

I talked to my girlfriend last night about my wanting to start some kind of LGBT community in my town. A little one, just a place to ask questions and have Pflag meetings. I told her about the book thefts, and how I want to help. How I wish there was a way to connect with other gay people in this town- I know they exist, damnit!- and promote the idea that gays aren't insane radical troublemakers, those are just the ones that get attention. She tried to comfort me with the idea that maybe the books are stolen by teens who are questioning and confused, who needed the books but were too scared to be seen by even the librarian with them. She says I should tell myself that, because then I'll feel better. It's true, the thought does make me feel better. Maybe it's even at least partially true. Yet, if that is what's going on, doesn't that mean I need to do more? Replace more books, be more active, show them that you don't have to hide? That's what I needed, and its what I never got. Even if the books are going to good places, they still need to be replaced, so more people can learn, understand, or hell, even just read a damn good book.

She asked why it matters to me, and I told her that it would have meant everything to me if there was a safe place where I could figure myself out, happy and out people to show me it was okay. Instead, I got hate, secrecy, and the only gays were totally fucked up. If I can help other people, in a way, I'm making up for how I treated myself. She began to tell me that maybe I should work on myself before helping others, that she's working on herself before making a difference. I'm hearing that a lot lately, "Don't do anything now- wait until you're graduated, or successful, or independent." Maybe that's a good point, but I can work on myself while helping people. I need to try, because if I don't, I can't make a start in making it up to myself. To me, this is a way of working on myself. I need to prove that's there's more than just ideas, and that ideas can help.

Nobody gets it, and that makes me feel even more alone than before. I wish I knew more gays here, but I don't because there isn't any kind of way for me to make acquaintance. Mom tells me to make more gay friends, and then we can do something, but I'm shy. I can't just walk up and say, "Hey, we've got an opportunity to actually make a difference, so why don't we take it?" I'm too scared. So I plan, and I imagine, and I hope to some kind of god that in two years, I'll know what I should do. Because I can't do anything right now. I'm a poor college student who lives three days away.

Fuck that. I'm tired of sitting on my ass and doing nothing like so many people. I can't do much, but I can try. I can start, and maybe some of my ideas might actually work. I don't want to sit and tell myself all these excuses when that's all they are- just excuses because people don't want to admit that they aren't the kind of person who takes action. Not to say that's bad- I understand. A lot of times, I am that person. But sometimes, I don't want to be, not right now, not for this cause.

Here's my plan. Well, one of them; this is the only one that can be enacted immediately, and that I can participate in even when I'm not at home. It's one of the few that doesn't require me to be there the entire time.
Of course, the catch is that I need a lot of people to help. It can't just be me, and that's going to slow me down, but it won't stop me.

I want to replace every stolen book, and keep replacing them, at the local library.
I can't do it on my own because I don't have the expendable income, or the ability to track down all the books. I want to start a facebook group, or a website, and ask people to donate titles for the library. That way, when a copy is stolen, they've got backups. If it works here, I want to go to other rural libraries. If you read, and want to help, comment. Because I can't do it on my own, but sure as hell I'm going to try.

Music Review- Gossip, and my new love affair.

Beth Ditto, Brace Paine, Hannah Blilie. Hot x3.

The only introduction I could think of to this review was a terrible pun about Gossip, so I'm going to restrain myself and say it like this instead- Today I'm reviewing Gossip the band. They're pretty well known as LGBT icons, and they're music is... hmm. Let's say the genre is funkadelic old school rock with a punk edge and a dance beat. They make me want to do the twist while jumping with a smiling sneer, and I feel the need to wear bold makeup. I included them in the playlist of Riot Grrl music, but Gossip is more like a cousin of that group. Very little screaming, no man-hating lyrics, only traces of feminism to be found. Beth Ditto's voice is easy to sing along with (for me, at least), and the lyrics are easy to memorize.

I just love this band. It's a tragic and passionate love affair sure to end with Beth Ditto asking security to take out the crazy dancing girl in the front row. Just kidding. I don't have the money for concerts, or the time for stalking. But anyway, LOVE GOSSIP.

Here's why:

That's Not What I Heard, 2000. "Swing Low", "Where the Girls Are", "Heartbeats".
"Swing Low" offers a fun alternative to the gospel classic, and sets a good tone for the album, while "Where the Girls Are" and "Heartbeats" show off their infectious hooks and the very nice rhythm the band's got going. This album makes me think of classic Southern rock, but with a funky catch that I love. Makes sense- they are originally from Arkansas.

Arkansas Heat, 2001. "Ain't It The Truth".
The chorus is so catchy, and reminiscent of Aretha Franklin, but in a way Ms. Franklin would never think of. And that's a compliment to Gossip, not meant to be offensive to Aretha.

Movement, 2003. "Nite", "Don't (Make Waves)", "Fire Sign", "Lesson Learned".
What a fabulously groovable album. "Don't (Make Waves)" and "Nite" were the real standouts, but the other two were far to good to leave off.

Standing in the Way of Control, 2005. "Standing in the Way of Control", "Coal to Diamonds", "Your Mangled Heart", "Dark Lines".
Here's when they became pretty well known, and I can't help it, it's my favorite album. Yes, the title track is fantastic, but "Coal to Diamonds" has a wonderful 50's sound I adore, and it's an emotion I can empathize with, and "Dark Lines" is chill in the coffee shop way.

Music for Men, 2000. "Dimestore Diamond", "Love Long Distance", "For Keeps", "Four Letter Word".
My other favorite album! All four of the above tracks are not only worth a listen, but necessary for life. I found that I fell instantly in love with them and haven't let them go at all. "Love Long Distance" gets bonus points for an awesome video including body suits, roller skating, and balloons.

If you're in the mood for grooving music that forces you on your goddamn feet, this is your band. Beth Ditto might just be my new idol.

Notes From the Missouri State Fair

My town goes absolutely insane exactly once a year, filled with people don't know how to drive, cowboys, old people, and everybody is really, really frustrated. Also, many are drunk too.

I never know if I love or hate it, but what the hell- either way I embrace it. I dip my toe in the Missouri State Fair and I people watch. I people watch like I'm getting a degree in it, and if you're interested in the diversity of Missourians, my town's the place to be. Of course, this being a gay girl's blog, I will tell you about the lesbos, but first, a mixed bag of incredibly intriguing specimens:

Ronald McDonald, in and out of costume. A lot, actually. I saw him (out of costume) at McDonald's, driving to the fair, parking in the fair, watching the shows before his and watching the crowd. I think at that point he got a little freaked out that I saw him so many places, but when I saw him (yet again) three different places as Ronald, I think he began to think I was stalking him. I wasn't- I just happened to see him a lot.

The Republicans and the Democrats. This year, someone thought it would be a good idea to put their tents beside each other. Now, the booth runners didn't have a problem with it- many of the politicians are friends, after all. But the voters, they're a little less tolerant of each other, so a lot of old people got into political events on the sidewalk, and someone would have to separate them. Once, it was a candidate for local office.

The Right To Life (and varieties thereof). I don't know why, but they keep trying to talk to me. I think they single out all young women, and inform us how horrible abortion is so we never do. I don't get why they give out fetus-shaped silly bandz and not condoms- Wouldn't condoms be more effective for preventing abortions? At least you'd have a lot of really thankful drunken cowboys.

Anyway, on to the dykes. Oh, the dykes.

One girl wearing a "I like Chicks" shirt with a little picture of a chicken on it. Now, there's a chance she meant it literally or ironically, but I kinda doubt it.
One girl wearing a Fuck H8 shirt. That takes some balls, I must say. Figuratively.
Two butch girls, one of whom was with her family.
Three baby dykes.
The boi I wasn't sure about until she started hitting on me- She teetered on androgyny, to the point where I wasn't sure if it was a gay guy or a boi. It was kinda flattering that she hit on me at all, her being a pretty attractive girl, but I feel that she was bored with the fairly sparse selection of lesbos at the fair. She was pretty nice when I informed her I had a girlfriend, too.

The butch carny who I ended up hanging out with for a few minutes. (I saved the best for last.) I was waiting for my cousins to get off the ride she was running and we talked about the music and the mating habits of the average Missouri twentysomething. We decided that tiny jean skirts, plaid halter tops, and cowgirl boots must be the requirement, and we speculated on possibility of redneck inbreeding. There some pretty great jokes about plaid- "Don't the straight girls know it's our color? You've got pink! How are we supposed to find the dykes now?"- and she got me to go hit on her girlfriend at the cotton candy booth, because they were betting on people using the line, "You might be selling candy, but you're the sweetest things I see." Her girlfriend laughed, called me out on knowing there was a bet, and snuck me a candy apple. Butch carny was super annoyed it didn't work, but it was worth the laugh. Those ladies were my favorite people at the fair, so far.

Music Review- Le Tigre

This sounds much like Sleater-Kinney and Bikini Kill and there's a good reason why- Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill is a founding member of Le Tigre, and they were originally formed to be her back up band.

There's a lot less screaming and shouting than Bikini Kill, and I find the slightly electronic feel to be easy to sing along to. The lyrics are much more understandable, too and I find it very cool that a lot of songs are remixes of people talking or chanting. On to the album by album!

Le Tigre, 1999.  "Hot Topic", "The Empty", "My My Metrocard", "Slideshow at Free University".
It seems that popular lesbian opinion considers "Hot Topic" to be a quintessential lesbian tune. It is riddled with feminists and declares that feminism will never be stopped. Plus, it is very fucking catchy. "The Empty" and "My My Metrocard" have very catchy beats and I find myself dancing to them incessantly. I find it odd, but I keep thinking of a fifties groove beat to all these songs, like an electronic rockabilly feel, but more feminism. "Slideshow at Free University" is a remix of a man talking, or maybe music centered around his words is more accurate. It intrigues me, and the ideas expressed in it are perfect and thought-provoking.

From The Desk of Mr. Lady, 2001. "They Want Us to Make a Symphony Out of the Sound of Women Swallowing Their Own Tongues", "Yr Critique", "All That Glitters".
"They (...)" is another remix of people speaking, with an emphasis on women saying "Um, and" as male interviewers fluster them. Danceable yet thought-provoking appears to be a specialty of Le Tigre, much more so than any other band I've ever heard. They don't shove politics down your throat (something I consider to be a weakness of Bikini Kill), but trick you into thinking about it more deeply. "Yr Critique" is a battle against W.I.A, Well-Intentioned Assholes, a plague upon society. "All That Glitters" is a remixed version of "The Empty" and I couldn't find a version of it, but it's worth a listen.

Feminist Sweepstakes, 2001. "Lt Tour Theme", "Dyke March 2001", "Well Well Well", "TGIF".
I included "Lt Tour Theme" because it's catchy for being a tour theme, and I love that they call themselves the band for the ladies and the fags. I want to dance with the fags, ladies, and them. "Dyke March 2001" is another remix of talking and chanting, apparently audio clips from a pride march. It's fucking catchy as hell, and I ended up singing along loudly with it in my car. Note- Do not sing "We recruit!" while driving, because that is a myth that needs to be banished from this area. "Well Well Well" gives off the impression of the members standing around talking to you, and maybe judging a little, but in perfectly groovy unison. "TGIF" should be the working man's anthem.

This Island, 2004. "After Dark", "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo", "Tell You Now", "So Excited".
"After Dark"- the booty call song is so much fun! This album shows a more polished sound, yet with a residual grittiness that almost feels forced, but it is still fantastic. There's a heavy dose of girl group and disco too, which I really love.  "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo" teases and challenges all the haters and it is sly and somewhat sexy, but not nearly so sexy as "So Excited". I got up and danced valiantly to that one, and I can't explain it, so just listen. "Tell You Now" is sweetly challenging, and politely explains that Le Tigre is fighting the war and won't be stopped, while nearly daring the misogynists to try some more.

Le Tigre is the best of Bikini Kill and  none of the bad, plus hefty doses of electronic pop that makes me happily groove along. I'm keeping every album, and not even deleting a song.

Movie Review- "High Art"

I haven't been keeping up the past because I've been busy. Making art, cleaning, packing, embroidering, mending, getting really really exhausted. Most of the arting/packing/sewing has been done while watching "Doctor Who" (I've always wanted to, and MAN am I hooked), but I have been doing a little lesbigay movie watching. Last night, my girlfriend and I decided to watch "High Art" and... wow, I guess. That's the best word.

Here's the plot: Sadie, an assistant editor of a photography magazine meets Lucy, a retired photographer and convinces her to be published again. Yes, exactly one sentence. If I go more into detail, it A) wouldn't make much sense and B) would give away everything else.

This is an artsy movie in every way- about art, and very artistically done. There are many quiet moments of the characters just living, and these moments make you understand the actions of each character more full, like a glimpse in their heads. The actors are fantastic- if any of them had been mediocre, the entire film would have fallen apart.

Also- Ally Sheedy stars as Lucy, and I love me some Ally Sheedy. So hot.

Lesbian-wise, there's lots of that. It's understated, just a part of life, and barely mentioned. Of course we have obligatory "lesbian with boyfriend who falls in love with a girl", but other than that, they're mostly bi or gay and it's not a big deal. The drug use rampant in the movie is the biggest focus, and we watch as it rips people and lives apart. Not in a dramatic musically orchestrated way, but in the quiet very human way that really happens. If you want a romantic movie or something gay to watch, this isn't it, but if you want to see a beautifully done character study that is truly artistic, then check it out.

Oh, and prepare to be depressed.

Movie Review- Better Than Chocolate is the Best!

Oh god, goddess, whatever you want to swear by, I'm so fucking happy I thought to check out this gem of a movie! It is officially my favorite lesbo movie, and I don't say that lightly. I can't really sum up the plot, but I'll try- Maggie, a nineteen year old lesbian working at an LGBT bookstore, has to allow her mother and brother to move in until they can find a home. However, her mom has no clue she's gay, and wants to run her life because she can't control her own. Let's just say, things get really messy, but it resolves itself just as messily.

And I loved it all! I didn't step back and examine it once for plot, character or anything. I was completely entranced and along for the ride. I kept thinking, "man, I think my mom would really love this movie!" but then there'd be more sex and I knew I'd have to keep it to myself. My mom can handle a lot of things, but I think multiple lesbian sex scenes might bother her a little... Anyway, how has this skipped my radar?

Yes, they deal with common LGBT issues. Trans acceptance, transitions, coming out, censorship, and hate all get focused on, but not once does it feel heavy handed. There's not even a trace of preachiness. This is just the characters' lives, who they are and what they deal with, and how they handle everything. The editing is fast and clever, moving the plot along without feeling forced (a common mistake). The writing- especially the mother, Lila- is so incredibly natural. In fact, the entire movie has a nice, organic ring to it. It made me laugh out loud, often, and the bad (terrible) things that happen? When they do happen, you can feel that it's going to be okay, eventually.

Something that just caught my attention- none of the storylines got more attention than the other. Lila's transition from wife to divorcee, her friendship with Judy, Judy and Francis's relationship, Maggie and Kim's romance- it's all treated with equal importance. I was invested in all of them, and I wanted them to be happy and okay with each other in the end.The characters are believable, and even though Maggie, being a young lesbian, could have very easily been a whiny angsty one (like Anna of "Itty Bitty"), she ends up being strong and very likable. And yes, angsty lesbians are everywhere in media because they're everywhere in reality- hell, I'm one, and I know several- but that doesn't mean we want to watch it. I don't like watching angsty lesbos on tv because I am one. I want to watch strong funny girls because I want to be them.

This movie handles the whole angst and LGBT thing wonderfully, by avoiding the angst. They're gay, and dealing with those issues- but there's no angst. They aren't ignoring the problems that arise, or pretending those problems don't exist, but they aren't creating them or inviting either (*cough* "Itty Bitty" I'm looking at you). There isn't a single moment where the character looks at the moody sky and seriously thinks about how difficult it is being gay, or how confusing life is or whatever- the take things like normal people and have to absorb everything quickly, because life doesn't allow for moody montages. It's the treatment of LGBT issues I needed to see, and the treatment I want to give in my own work.

Speaking of issues, I'm working on the library thing. I can't fix the persistent theft of every positive LGBT book, and to strike back might affect people who haven't done anything, but I can replace the books. Every time they go missing, I'm buying new ones. If I can, I'm going to start a fund to replace every stolen book in that library. It happens a lot, not just to LGBT causes. Book theft sucks, and when these are the only sources for confused kids like I used to be, it could kill. So I'm going to try and fix it. Who wants to help?

Movie Review- Loving Annabelle

My girlfriend and I watched this on our very first internet date (we watch the same movie at the same time and im or text back and forth. It's as close to a normal date as we can really get, what with all the distance). I was in my "I'm gay but that doesn't mean I have to do every lesbian thing out there, gah!" stage, so watching such a superlez movie grated on my nerves. By the way, spoilers abound.

I didn't hate the movie, but I didn't like it either. In case you didn't know, "Loving Annabelle" is the movie in which the young lesbian seduces her teacher and they become lovers, get caught and all that. I didn't like it because I felt like it glamorized an inadvisable relationship, and it seemed like most of the tension was because "ooooh it's so deliciously forbidden!" rather than any real romantic or sexual tension. However, I am going to try to be fair, and I'm watching it again, this time paying closer attention to the relationships of the characters.

It probably helps that I'm going to be watching it alone this time, and not sending mushy ims to a really attractive girl. That probably did nothing for my attention span.

Now that I've watched it with minimal distraction, my opinion hasn't changed much, but I can now put a finger on why their relationship bothers me (other than the whole student-teacher love is ick). It bothers me because Annabell is the only character in the movie who doesn't seem real. She's too mature and perfect. She's actually more mature than the teacher, Simone. Not once do we see her really act like a teenager, and it bothers me.

On the second watching, the "forbidden love" thing appears to be less glamorized than I remember it, and the movie portrays Simone's torture quite well. She gives in to her feelings, and she's punished for it- the nun who calls the police isn't an enemy, she's just a woman doing her job, and they don't make her an enemy. The girl who turns in the lovers is shown to be a bitch and she does it out of jealousy that Annabelle doesn't prefer her, and her friends desert her. In all, the whole thing is pretty realistically done, and it ends fairly ambiguously.


If you replaced Annabelle with a boy or Simone with a man, the movie's tone might change a little, but I don't think the difference would be all that big- the hidden secret of Simone's sexuality wouldn't matter, but other than that the movie wouldn't change. In the end, that isn't the plot, the plot is exploring how the student-teacher romance bloomed, and it's pretty interesting. I just thought it kinda cool that for once, this isn't a lesbian movie that spends all its time focusing on how hard it is to be lesbian and come out and all that.

Watch the movie if you feel like it, but I don't think I want to watch it again. While interesting and subtly done, it doesn't draw me in like other movies can.

An Observation of the Homosexual in Their Native Small Town America

I've had the joy and pleasure of being whisked off to my grandparents' house. This, of course, means the joy and pleasure of talking to about eighty people who I don't know, but remember me "since you were this tall!" and insist on hugs. It also means that all these well meaning people try to set me up with their sons and grandsons, because wouldn't it just be sweet? Gah. I've gotten bad at playing the straight, nice girl, so this was a challenge. I'm also pretty sure I didn't succeed very well, but hey, I wasn't so obviously gay that my grandparents asked about it.

However! I played a game of "Spot the Gay" at the small-town fair, and on the trip up and back. I can proudly say that my gaydar was fairly accurate, and I spotted three whole dykes and a possible bisexual in the crowds. Also, one flaming gay boy and a much quieter gay boy. I was shocked and surprised at his daring fabulousness, but he bulged with muscles- clearly this isn't just a well dressed lad, this is a farm gay, and I noticed he was very careful to not hit on or touch any of the boys near him. Of which there were two, but still, his carefulness was duly noted and admired. The quieter gay boy dressed and acted like every other cowboy, except his eyes kept roving to the other boy's abs.

Of the fagettes, there was a femme, a farm girl, and a girl who was about as rock as it gets in this town (not very rocker at all, actually. Valiant effort, though). All three were very careful, very quiet and very observant of the others, and me. The rockstar and her friends appeared to be talking about me, from their glances, so I pretended I didn't notice. All in all, a surprising afternoon followed by a dull night and an even duller day.

I'm so glad I'm home. That town puts my teeth on edge, even if (as it appears) it's relatively safe for the gays. But probably only relatively- I really doubt they're out, even the flaming ones, because to be obviously gay yet closeted is acceptable- to be out, in that town, is not.

Baby Dyke is Also Baby Activist. kinda.

I went to the library today. I was after some lesigay books in the effort of improving my knowledge of my own sexuality, because I'm bored, and because I really, really wanted to know if small town America has gay books.

I found one in the entire library, a review of the LGBT rights movement. It spent a lot of time explaining the "behaviors and acts of the average homosexual."  Not even the gay fiction I read as a teenager was there (Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan, unbearably cheerful but kinda cute). Giving that up as a lost cause, I gloomily tromped to my car to drive home. At this point, my gloom bloomed to anger. Maybe I'm being stupid again, but I think it's a kind of travesty to have no gay books, but eleven Ann Coulter books and at least four "Rebel Pride, the South will Rise Again" books. (Dear Southerners, give it up.)

Fuck it. This is something I can try to fix, so I'll do my best. I'm waiting a few minutes and then I'm going to call the library head and ask what I need to do to get more LGBT books in circulation. I was just going to donate some, but there's the risk of them just gathering dust somewhere- they have to be approved by head of circulation. Which means I have to convince the head of circulation that gay books are, in fact, necessary.

If this doesn't work, I'm going to do some guerilla gaying of the shelves.
Maybe not so responsible, but it's the only thing that I can do right now.

Music Review- Bikini Kill!

Today's band of the day is Bikini Kill. The very beginning of the riot grrl movement which Sleater-Kinney belongs to, Bikini Kill is super-feminist punk rock in the best possible way. I had to listen to Bikini Kill for a while, looking at the lyrics and paying close attention before I could really get into them. But now that I've allowed them into my mind, I can't get them out.

I keep finding myself wishing I could see them live (they broke up in 1998), because from what I can tell there just wasn't a concert like a Bikini Kill concert. Women were brought up from the audience to talk about politics on stage. The mosh pit was forced to the side so that women could be in the front. I feel like the concerts are just like the music- a little odd, very unexpected, but if you're in the mood, it's absolutely perfect.

CD Version of the First Two Albums, 1992. "Double Dare Ya", "Feels Blind", "Rebel Girl", "Outta Me"
This was so unexpected to me, mostly because the first two songs "Double Dare Ya" and "Liar" seamlessly flow into each other (not what I think when I think punk), and the other songs feature screaming and enthusiastic, breathless talking. Like, "here's one expectation broken, and now we're going to break that- ha!"
The lyrics are often very repetitive, and the chanting serves to make you think about the words more thoroughly, I found. The message sinks in and a lot of time, I laughed because I was thinking, "Well yeah. Fuck yeah! I don't need you, boys! Back off!" It was empowering in a weird way, but at the same time, I had to think, we don't need boys, but fuck, I still want them around. I don't even date them, I just like having guys in my life because too much estrogen is a nightmare. And for the straight girls, well you do kinda need a guy for sex. Maybe they take the feminist message a little far, but it's still worth it.

Pussy Whipped, 1994. "Alien She", "Magnet", "Starfish", "For Tammy Rae" (Listen to this at least. It's so sweet)
I'm ashamed to admit that the more I listen to this, the more I want to make a drastic change. I want to take all the risks I'm too much of a pussy to actually take. Maybe this is good, but knowing me, it isn't and I need to step away from the cd now. But I won't. This is also the point where I realized that the songs are actually pretty short, about a minute and a half long. The energy is so intense, though, that you end up drawn in and mesmerized, not realizing exactly how much time is passing. Sometimes it feels like none at all, and sometimes like hours in one song. 

Reject All American, 1996. "Jet Ski", "No Back Rub", "Bloody Ice Cream"
The vocals are screamed, shouted and pretty distorted, but in a sense you don't have to know them to like the music. It helps, though, or otherwise you'll hear a single word (usually "FUCK!") and be really confused. Unless, like me, you like the word "fuck" and "dyke", in which case you'll be kinda delighted. While listening to this album I informed my girlfriend that punk music makes me want to do stupid things in fast motion (this has been tried and true through the years) and she just laughed. I think it's because she isn't in the same time zone as me and therefore doesn't have to deal with my stupid consequences.

Bikini Kill is very different from what I'm used to, but once I got in the Bikini Kill mood, I really loved the music. "The Bikini Kill mood", so you know, is disaffected, maybe a little lonely, kinda angry and in need of a cathartic release. The music serves as that very necessary release.

Bikini Kill is medicine of sorts.  Take two singles and call me in the morning.

Omegle, the place to meet people

 Not even kidding. I go to Omegle.com when I'm bored and I even find it worthwhile. Omegle has found a reputation for being a place for pervs and trolls, but surprisingly, not every person on there is looking for cyber sex. In fact, I've met a lot of really interesting people over the last few days.

I've talked to people about stupid boys, stupid girls, financial woes, and many other things. People need to talk, sometimes, and if done right, Omegle can be the anonymous place to wonder if your fiance will still love you when you come back from the army, or to relax after a hard day's work. For a lot of people, it's a place to find a new friend, or just someone to connect with for a few seconds.

I can't help it... I love people. I love the way they are on the internet, listening and talking hidden behind electronic veils, yet at the same time revealing the things they worry about or celebrate. You're who you are, or maybe who you want to be, on Omegle. There's no point to hiding, but if you want to affect the personality you wish you could be, that's easy enough too. There actually is a point to hiding certain things- name, credit card, location, etc- but what's on your mind, or what you want from life can be laid bare to see and you are barely vulnerable.

I think some of the best conversations have been where we both have something weighing us down and we need to just talk it out. Sometimes you can't rely on your friends or family, but you don't want to just rely on yourself. One guy was worried that he was going to change so much that his fiance wouldn't love him anymore. We spent a while talking about it, sorting it out until he felt better. Then we talked about my issues, because you can't open up to someone if they don't want to open up to you. That's not how it works. It's like a trading of vulnerabilities.

That's the most interesting thing to me, but I'm also fascinated by people who are putting up these fronts on Omegle- the ones who are trying to be tough, or sexy, or snarky. You can tell they aren't, it doesn't flow naturally, but on some level, that is who they want to be. I can dig that.

Then we have the funny people who can take a level of absurdity and just run. The ones who ask you what dinosaur you are, and begin theoretical discussions on the existence of superheros. Those people are great... So every horny person on the site can suck my nonexistent dick and find some porn. I'm going to keep going back when I'm bored, because there's diamonds in the rough, and I like talking to them.